In His Time

So I finally got up in front of DCF and gave my testimony. I'm not going to lie, I didn't really want to do it, but God told me to. Not that I was tempted to disobey, but being stretched is always at least a little painful and there was some definite stretching going on. But I gave my testimony, carefully planned out but still so close to my heart. There were no tears!!! but there was a consistent shakiness in my voice that had absolutely nothing to do with nerves. I could see a few faces in the crowd as their lives were touched first by the pain from the story and then the beautiful redemption that followed. I keep being reminded of Revelation 12:11 where it says that the accuser will be defeated by the blood of the Lamb and by the power of our testimonies! Even though it felt like I was baring my soul to a room full of strangers and friends alike, God says there is power in our testimonies, so I will hold on to that truth. The first evidence came immediately after the sermon that night. A missionary from Bangladesh came, not to raise money, but to ask for people. She wants help at a center she is building for the children of prostitutes at a certain brothel. She has the funds, but she needs people. She gave a short message and followed with an alter call for everyone who may want to go to help in Bangladesh or who want to receive the call to missions in general.
I stayed in my seat. I can't really say why, but I'm pretty sure it was God's timing, not only that I stayed in my seat, but that I gave my testimony that night. I knew I didn't need another calling to missions on my life. And there was something else holding me back. I discovered that it was the Holy Spirit when another student walked up to me with a few tears in her eyes. She told me she didn't want to go up to the front, because that wasn't what she needed. She already felt the call for missions on her life. Her heart was already broken for the helpless and the hungry and the abused. But she was confused. She is here taking classes, not out there helping. And that is where God wants her to be. Why is that? I almost laughed out loud; her words were an exact echo of what I went through about a year ago. I told her that God has a plan, but he likes to reveal it one step at a time. I told her that God doesn't need our skills, but our hearts. I told her that once she makes a decision to lay down not just her heart, but her life for Jesus, she is a missionary wherever she goes. It was a years worth of life lessons pouring out of my mouth and she totally received them! We were both blessed and encouraged. I was blessed to know that people actually listen when I talk, that the lessons I learn are applicable to other peoples lives. She was blessed to know that she wasn't alone, she wasn't mishearing or misunderstanding God's call. I think it was balm to both our souls. I left that night with a new assurance that God's timing is exact, and His will is good, acceptable and perfect.